Friends, Family, and Bracketologists of All Ages,
It's time for McDow Hoops 2008.
This is a bracket challenge that will most appeal to McDows and those who love them. In years past, participants have received a certain amount of bracket-focused discussion emails. Some have called it smack, some have called it spam.
This year, management has decided to use a blog to contain this conversation and make participation more appealing to those who do not like getting 15-20 emails a day about an obscure second round game. That blog is called sMaCkDOWn: The Audacity of Hoops, and you can find it here: http://mcdowhoops.blogspot.com/
Even with this change, however, this bracket challenge is not for everyone. You may want to take the following quiz to test your suitability:
1. In recent years, which of the following strategies has guaranteed a winner in the McDowHoops bracket:
A) A basketball version of Billy Beane's Moneyball
B) Evaluating the appeal of each mascot to a two year old
C) A "Southern Fried Strategy," that chooses the geographically/culturally more southern of any matchup
D) Presbyterian predestination
Answer: C. (If you answered B, and followed the strategy, you would have only placed second.)
2. Why do McDows like Thanksgiving:
A) The weather in Rock Hill is beautiful that time of year.
B) It offers many their only chance to jog each year.
C) When everyone is full, no one minds hearing the same stories each year
D) No mashed potatoes.
Answer: All answers are valid.
3. Which McDow story involves Clarkson doing something outrageous in college that he now denies:
A) No. 17 (Goldfish)
B) No. 41 (Jailkeep)
C) No. 80 (Crabshells)
D) All of the above
Answer: D, though he is more likely to deny these if Thomas tells them.
4. What is Chuckie Stew?
A) An ill-advised product placement crossover from Campbell's Soup and Universal Studios
B) A very cool junior at Roanoke College
C) What John McCain made from Mike Huckabee's celebrity bodyguard
D) A slang name for vomit
Answer: B.
5. Why fill out a bracket?
A) It's March and you need an excuse to talk smack
B) I like to have a dog in the fight when Jeff or Lauren's teams implode
C) It's more fun than Todd's Oscar Pool
D) Will told me to.
Answer: all answers are valid.
Scoring:
If you have made it this far, your persistence in reading nonsense suggests you may have a real future in McDowHoops.
If, however, you are still wondering if this bracket is right for you, you may want to consider the following email. It was sent (with no apologies to Seuss) last year regarding an octofinal round game in the NIT (not, ahem, a tournament for which anyone on the list filled out a bracket).
-----[name withheld to protect the ignorant],
Can you smack talk when they stink?
Can you smack talk when they sink?
Yes, you can smack talk when they've sunk. You can smack talk when they're skunks.
You can smack talk down by thirty. You can smack down when they are dirty.
But we do not like them ------ you are. We bet you cuss them in the car.
No one really likes to lose not even them from Syracuse.
All right, if you have read this far and still want to take part, you can’t say that we did not warn you.
How to register:
1. Go to the ESPN Tourney Challenge Site: http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/frontpage
2. Sign in or open a new account
3. Join the group mcdowhoops. The password is rockhill
4. Fill out your bracket before March 20. The field will be announced this Sunday, and the games start March 20, a week from Thursday.
5. If you feel the need to submit a second bracket, it must follow an arbitrary rule consistently (see Southern Fried Strategy, above) and the title should reflect this.
How to talk/read smack:
1. Go to the site sMaCkDOWn: The Audacity of Hoops (aka http://mcdowhoops.blogspot.com/)
2. Comment or read as you wish. Please sign comments with at least initials so that you can get credit for your cleverness. If you would like to be one of the group administrators so that you can create new posts, let Will know and he will add you. (This may involve opening a Blogger account.)
3. If you are too lazy to go to the internet to post, you can also post directly from email by getting the address from Will. The subject of your email will be the subject of the post, and the body will be the body. Again, please indicate authorship. (Posts sent via email will by default appear as posted by Will, so don’t let him steal your lines.
4. And if you would like to get the blog updates right in your browser, subscribe to the feeds by pressing the little orange box to the right of the web address. This will allow you to bookmark the site and give you a live pulldown of everyone witticisms.
If you run into trouble or need any help figuring any of these things out, please contact Will, Piers, or me.
May Cinderella drop her shoe at your ball,
Dodie
P.S. please feel free to forward to those who might be left off the list above (I know I don't have Charlie's new email)
P.P.S. Please, please, do not respond to the whole list. If you want to say something about it, post it to the blog.
