Louisville's demise

Louisville's play last night brought to mind a different line by John Milton: "Whence and what are thou, execrable shape?" They really crapped up the joint during a crucial stretch! Now, I have to deal with emails like these from my students: "Dear Piers: As you know, the Heels just won, so they will proceed to the Final Four in San Antonio! As a member of the band, I have been invited to travel with the team to the game. This means that I will be out of town as early as Wednesday, April 2 and will not return as late as Tuesday, April 8. I realize this means I will miss up to 2 classes. I will continue to keep up with class readings and notes. If there are any make-up assignments you wish me to complete, please let me know. Also, our papers will be due the day/night I get back on Tuesday. If we go all the way to the final game, I will not return until after it is due. We will have Internet at the hotel, so I will email a copy of my paper to you before 8am on Tuesday. I will get a hardcopy to you as soon as I return to campus. I will also be able to email you throughout the week with paper questions should they arise. I hope this is okay. If there is anything else I need to do, please let me know. Thank you for your understanding and for allowing me this amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. GO HEELS! Thank you, [Name deleted to protect the excited]" I would like to mention to her that taking my class is also an amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but I'm not sure I believe it.