PT News Wire: Fans Across America Lose Interest

Blogsville, USA. With the four #1 seeds in the Final Four for the first time ever, and with three perennial favorites among them, the climax to this year's college basketball season is promising to annoy the heck out of everybody who doesn't already root for those four stinking teams. Captain 'Cuse, a Blogsville resident, said, "For those of us with no money on these games, do we really give a rat's bottom if the mighty UNC beats the all-time winningest UCLA in the final, or vice versa?" He then added, speaking for many, "What we need is some good off-court shenanigans to make this interesting again. I mean, I'd root for the team that arrived in San Antonio underhanded because half their team was suspended for being caught in a strip club." Reminded that Memphis has not experienced the same level of success as the other programs, Captain 'Cuse recalled why he was for them in the first place. "But," he added, "half their players getting caught in a strip club would seal the deal."