What if college basketball had a bowl system?

For our mid-week slow-down, a nice attempt to follow through on a thought suggested by The Onion (click here): a listing of all the basketball 'bowl' match-ups we might have seen if there were no NCAA tournament. At least the not very Gamecocks would have gotten a bid! Outback Bowl, Tampa, Fla. Penn State (26-11) vs. South Caroliona (21-10)

Paging Dr. Birnbaum

The smack has picked up beautifully around here! I particularly enjoyed Margaret asking Dodie whether he spent more time photoshopping his cereal box than picking his bracket. Although Margaret thought it might be poor manners to smack down her cousins from her #1 spot, I believe there's nothing better than smack from the lead. Which brings me to Dr. Ron Birnbaum. I'll pose again the question I asked last year: If you enter a bragging-rights-only pool but never brag, did you really enter? Also, here's a comment by Piers that I didn't want to get buried (I think it's safe to say that Ron is not checking the comments on this blog): Paging Dr. Birnbaum! As the only one to pick UConn to win it all, there is a VERY good chance you'll be sitting atop McDowHoops. Better get in now if you want to maximize limelight. (Unless, of course, you think the NCAA will do everything in its power to keep those rule-violators from winning the championship. You really must be a moral reprobate to have picked UConn to win it all.)

Calipari to Kentucky

Would you want to be stuck in Memphis?

Lauren's Predictions

At Todd's request, here are my predictions.  This is based on the assumption that we'll each continue to pick wins at the same rate we've picked wins so far in the tournament.  Here's the formula:

Current points + ((Current points divided by possible points so far; this is each person's proven winning percentage) x (PPR))

Bracketologist	Current rank	Predicted final rank	Predicted final total
MMGumby 3, M. Gumbinner	1	1	1388.75
HarborBirnbaum 1, R. Birnbaum	2	2	1350
gte233v 1, L. McDow	3	3	1305
keithleykeithley 1, T. Keithley	5	4	1215
*SC Education Bracket, T. McDow	11	5	1155
Deese Picks Are Winners, S. Deese	8	6	1086.25
winner or whiner?, N. Jenkins	10	7	1072.5
A-10 > SEC, J. Gumbinner	12	8	1058.75
*Will.I.Am.Still.Alive, W. McDow	14	9	1031.25
*Jim Goff-PawPaw's Picks, W. McDow	16	10	1031.25
Prez_O_Picks, W. McDow	17	11	1031.25
randmcgt 1, R. McDow	20	12	1003.75
NIB (nell's impulse ), N. Jenkins	21	13	990
nbjenkins 1, N. Jenkins	26	14	921.25
Ol' Cat-Stew, M. Jenkins	6	15	900
Mr. Pick , e. black	9	16	877.5
AU is in. Mason is not., D. Leonhardt	13	17	855
BIG BAD BRIAN 53 , B. Richards	15	18	843.75
Maggie Lou Wins, D. McDow	4	19	810
Captain 'Cuse, P. Turner	7	20	790
Jonah the Whale, D. Leonhardt	18	21	740
Felix the Cat, D. Leonhardt	19	22	740
*e.fitzbasketball, E. Fitzpatrick	22	23	700
Dode Has Nose for Pickin', D. McDow	23	24	690
molvigo 1, O. Molvig	24	25	680
*Leslie, W. McDow	25	26	670
Yankee Interloper, G. Raskin	27	27	640
MookMcD 1, m. rincon	28	28	590
Pops, C. McDow	29	29	550
BigEastDream, P. Turner	30	30	550
Domable, D. Rincon	32	31	550
The Underdog, T. McDow	31	32	510
RUSHwantsO'sBRACKETtoFAIL, D. McDow	33	33	400
eleanor's mascot prefs, O. Molvig	34	34	370
googlelovesamerica, E. Fitzpatrick	35	35	300

Lauren

Alma Ada Mada Mater

For all you latte sipping, NPR listening liberals out there trying to be the average man by pickin' your bracket and watchin' the hoops, your favorite Saturday night date went to the interlecutulal capitol of the Midwest this week. Check out Appleton on this week's Prairie Home Campanion. They even had some of those people who sing with out no muzak. I think Piers calls 'em a cup a fellas. As for me, I'm ready for some baseball.

Hopped up on Sugar Smacks

That's my excuse for losing to Dodie (and just about everyone else). Props to the whole McDow family for Maggie, who is in 34,712nd place nationally. I'd hope the smartest representative of your whole clever clan could've done better than that.

Comment to Dodie's post

Since I think it was suggested we comment as a new post: Dode, did you spend more time picking your bracket or photoshopping your picture onto the Sugar Smacks box?

Posting to a Blog Is Not Easy for Oldtimers

Last night I was home from a meeting in DC and anxious to add to the misinformation that goes on this blog, but couldn't figure it out.  My bracket is so far into the toilet that my plumber can't find it.  While everyone was excited about 'Nova (since being sent to 'Nam, I hate words shortened by leaving out the first syllables), I looked at the bracket and figured that UNC would win it all and either Leslie or Maggie would win depending on whether Louisville or Michigan State won today.  Now that Louisville has fallen, it will be Maggie winning it all unless the UConn Huskies can salvage some of the Big East's pride.  By the way where were the "over rated" cheers from Michigan State?  Anyway, if Connecticut wins instead of UNC, the Birnbaum entry looks good unless it is disqualified for lack of smack support.  If Pitt wins so does Cat Stew, oh I forgot they are gone.  If Louisville wins  Captain (ex)Cuse wins.  

I am not going to win this year but my daughter Maggie will win this year and next year it will be Ella's turn so we can be the first family  to have three generations win three years in a row.  Ella is practicing by regularly singing the "Ramble Song."

Thomas is commended for trying to boost academics with his South Carolina Academic Picks. Only trouble is that his only final four team is Connecticut and they only graduate 23% of their African American players and 30% overall.  Dodie had a point that they talk about student athletes but when was that last coach to get fired for failing to graduate the so called student athletes?   I doubt if the people on the top of the blog want a lecture on values from those of us who have no bracket left.  We do have to admire Maggie Lou for sticking with her loyalties though her pushy father would not let her chose her beloved Pitt. Now how anyone can love Pitt is beyond me.

My best to all of those still competing. For me and the South Carolina Gamecocks we will wait to next year. For me and The Citadel Bulldogs we are waiting for next century or is that the last century.

Clarkson

Give me a smack and I'll smack you back.

Basketball fans. My platform for smackdaliation just grew immeasurable higher when the Louisville Cardinals failed to live up to their high billing and handle Michigan State. My bread is in the oven and I am about to be toast. I am comfortably tied for 14th place and have a grand total of zero more points available. And I am not even good at losing. I'm the second highest ranking person with zero possible points left. Once again Piers is my better. But that is not what this post is about. I will wallow in self pity over on Twitter. With only 140 characters. I am here to set the record straight. Maggie Lou still wanted Pitt to win. She was disappointed with their loss, but when she heard that she was still highly ranked, she shrugged and did what any sensible person would do: she said the serentity prayer. Or at least she channelled it. Smiling with a this-is-not-what-I-wanted-but-I-guess things-might-turn-out-OK grin. And then when I told her that Louisville also lost, she looked up from the game she was playing with Franklin and said, "Oh well. I don't even like basketball anyway. Its so stupid. All you do is throw that ball through the hoop." She will think differently when she learns to type faster. On ad alma materum attacks. Please. Especially looking for the false equivalents (Georgia Tech's intramural champ vs. Lawrence's varsity). What about Georgia Tech's stoner frats? I am sure they could not hold a smoldering doobie to what LU could roll out. Or hot midwesterners with a nasal twang. Nothing. Regardless, it is pointless. Piers even goes after Chuck Stew for his crunchy college's lack of smackitude. What does one's college say about them? Not much. And certainly the athletes, er, student-athletes, don't represent the school. Even at some of the oldest and most famous universities in the country, the social and intellectual lines between the recruited athletes and the regular students is wide. And I know because Todd's roommate was one. The last point should carry over to academics too. Florida State is now getting fried for academic improprieties for their athlete-students, and I am sure that they are not any worse than the other schools in their conference and all that play at their level. (Spare me the Duke stories, Will. I smack my hands on your court.) A reliable source in Chapel Hill has informed me of the high level of intervention that comes from the athletic department for students in big time sports. And I am sure the SUC and the Big Least are as bad or worse. I realized during the election that what we hate about politics is what we hate about college sports. In politics, they pretend its about ideas but it's really about winning. In college sports, they pretend that they care about academics, but it's about winning. Principles go out the window when they help the ball go through the hoop. And those back benchers who keep complaining about the lack of smack: everyone likes talking about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Todd called some people onto the electronic carpet, and that is good. But this is a collective venture, and unless you put your hyperbole where your common sense used to be, we're no where. Having put in my 200 cents, let me add to Todd's roll call: Clarkson, where are you? Don't tell me you don't know how to blog. You at least know how to send email, and your responsible son explained how to do it via email here. Thomas, what about you. You respond "to all" via email at a drop of a hat. Consider my backward baseball cap dropped. Looking forward to hearing from you all.

Todd - It's been too long...

... Since you've been to Rock Hill.  The picture on the top of the blog is NOT Duke.  

Of course, having chosen Syracuse to win it all, I wouldn't necessarily mind a change of scenery.

Mook

I agree that the smack talking has been a little disappointing this year. Maybe it is because a lot of us were in Rock Hill the first weekend. In my opinion, that is always the best time to talk smack because the possibilities are endless. I have stayed away from the smack talking because I am in first place. I have to say, I much prefer talking smack from way back in the pack. For some reason, talking smack while in first seems like it is in poor taste. Not to mention what happens when my bracket falls into oblivion with no way of recovering (thank you Villanova and I need a win from Michigan State today). This year, I have decided to put aside my distaste for UNC and picked them to win the whole thing. While I feel good about that choice, there is just something that just can't get excited about pulling for them. With that said, I thought for sure that at least one of you bozos would have taken over the lead by now. I picked my bracket in about ten minutes in the midst of packing us all up to go to SC while I had a slight fever. Surely one of you could make better picks than that!

Updates I'd like to see

After today's games are over, I'd love to see the following updates: 1. Lauren: Will you be running your predictions again this year, based on remaining available points, to tell us who is likely to win? 2. Dodie: When will you tell us how Maggie Lou responded to Pittsburgh's loss? It's a really interesting question if Louisville wins. After today's games, let us know whether Maggie Lou is an idealist, sticking to her principles no matter what, or a pragmatist, happy with a bracket that's accidentally still in the running. 3. Ron: I know you're busy with your residency, but I'm still hoping for one post out of you. 4. Erin: Our hats are off to you for wading in with a smart-alecky comment about oldsters passing as youngsters. Keep up the good work! 5. Will: Is this your blog or not? If you don't make a few more cracks, I will petition for an update of the Duke photo atop the blog, replacing it with this lovely shot of Syracuse: 6. Abby and Margaret: You can't tell me you don't know how to blog -- I read your blogs every week! Throw some posts up here. 7. Finally, Mary Ann made a comment that I thought should be aired as a post (possibly for self-serving reasons), so I'm promoting it here (along with Piers's response): Mary Ann: As a casual observer of the March Madness, I agree with some other contributors that the smack talk has very disappointing this season. I care nothing about who wins what game but I love to read the banter. This year it has been slow to say the least. Are so many of you depressed over your standing in the brackets that you cannot get up the energy to contribute some read-worthy smack? If it weren't for Piers and Todd, I would quit logging onto this site. Piers: Our basketball smack may not be so good, but our smack smack is flourishing, it seems.

Bracket = busted

But that just frees me up for more of the real purpose of this exercise, which is taking the rest of y'all down with me. So beware. Long live the Pitt Panthers!

See ya later, Raskin!

See ya later, Greggie Boy! See ya later, Ol' Cat-Stew! Maggie Lou, you can thank your wise old dad any time you please. Even better, Meredith and I will be in California on April 4, at her dad's house, where we will actually get to watch one of these games, in a room full of 'Nova fans!

Villanova

My bracket has Duke beating Pittsburgh and going to the Final Four, so in order to get back in the running I need Villanova to beat Pittsburgh. This strategy agrees with Meredith, since her father, uncle, aunt, and cousins attended Villanova. (Her first cousins currently own and run "Kelly's," a Villanova bar/hangout.) So here's hoping that Raskin and Maggie Lou will shed some more tears tonight! I join Raskin's call for more smack. In particular, how did Leonhardt's lunatic post about Yale hockey slide through with barely a responding peep? Perhaps because most McDows were hanging out in Rock Hill that weekend, riding horses and pickup trucks instead of tending their blog. I hate to beat up on Raskin since I live in New York with him and have ample opportunity to beat up on him here. But if Villanova wins maybe I'll take another crack at him.

If there's a silver lining in this

it's that with Syracuse being so academically tough, it's important for the players to get back to their studies.

Ugh. Now I know what Duke fans feel like.

Losing by 20. Syracuse playing like they were surprised to have to play today.

halftime

and Syracuse has played one of its worst halves of the year. 0-9 on 3s. No energy. No transition game. But missing lay-ups, as usual.

Is it just me or

does the SU-Oklahoma game that we're all definitely watching right now feel weirdly low-energy? I've noticed crowds at these NCAA games are not full. Or maybe it's just the zone play. But Syracuse anyway needs a shot of adrenaline.

Flame retardant uniforms?

I was already nervous about Syracuse's game against Oklahoma, but now I worry for the Orange's safety. See video starting around 25 seconds in... That has to be illegal.

Father Knows Best

Maggie Lou will be thanking you when Villanova beats Pittsburgh.

SuperNova?

Isn't a supernova an imploding star?  I hope the shoe fits.

But from what I've seen, they'll continue to shine.

SuperNova!

I just wanted to beat the ESPN headline writers to the punch, assuming this keeps up. And if I just jinxed Nova, then that's my gift to Will. UPDATE: Things looking very bad tonight for Clarkson. Pops picked a Memphis-Duke final. That's called love. And love hurts.

RE: Chuck Stew Called the Tiger Stew

That half court shot by Mizzou covered more distance than all of Duke's first half field goals. Let's see if Coach K earns his gold in this one. 'Nova's good, very good, but I'm still hopeful that Clarkson picked this one correctly. Go Memphis!! Where else can you beat your feet in the mississippi mud?

Chuck Stew Called the Tiger Stew

Chuck may not want to start strutting yet, but unless Memphis can get
their feet out of the mud and come a long way back (did any one see
the 60-foot shot Missouri swished at the end of the first half?),
Chuck will be the only one in the top half of our pool to have called
this one correctly.

Father Knows Best

Maggie Lou will be thanking you when Duke beats Pittsburgh.

Stressful but ultimately satisfying

Maggie Lou and I are breathing sighs of relief as our beloved Panthers squeaked by Xavier.

Maggie Lou Made Me Write This

I made a mistake.  A big mistake.  A mistake that made my daughter cry.  What did I do?  I screwed up her bracket.  

Maggie put great faith in the NCAA seeding.  She called few upsets.  She stuck with the teams that she liked.  Connecticut because she was born a Connecticut Yankee (despite her strong paternal line).  Pittsburgh because her beloved second grade teacher is from Pittsburgh (they got extra credit for wearing black and gold during NFL season; a class pep rally picture was in a Pittsburgh newspaper for the Superbowl).  And Louisville because of her middle name (but she would not let me name her bracket MaggieLouisville).  Maybe it was this last word play, maybe it was a mis-mouse, but when I entered her bracket, I put Louisville as her champion.  It was supposed to be Pittsburgh.  When she found this out, talking her bracket over with Chuck, she was crestfallen.  And by crestfallen, I mean awash in tears and angry.  She confronted me.  I wasn't sure.  I dodged.  But them we looked at the bracket and saw the handwriting.  She was right, and I was wrong.

So, regardless of what happens tonight with Pitt or in the rest of the tournament, Maggie wants the record to show that she picked Pitt to win the championship.  (She doesn't know that she should be wary of Raskin's picks.)

I will take up the philosophical problem of ad alma materum responses and Georgia Tech's high academic standards in a future post.

When is brunch?

Today's big game is Villanova-Duke. Late game though, so everybody should try to steal a nap - especially those in the 45+ range. Stew-Baller did a nice job coming to Raskin's defense. I can respect non-confrontational smack. Very Roanoke College... I'm all for peace, love, and understanding, but I'd be more impressed by Stew-Baller's alma mater if they also learned basic information about meal-times...

Wannabe Virginia

I'm just going to let the President respond to those "Morgansville" haters.

Not safe for kids

Thank you, Mountaineer fans.

Low quality

The quality of smack talk on this site is dismal this year. What's up with everyone? I wait all year to get abused by you people...

Midweek Yale Hockey Recap

In case you missed the Yale hockey comeback Dave was talking about:

roster

Well, GT signed five 'top 75' (or so) recruits for next year, including the #1 recruit in the nation, so I am even more hopeful for next year than I was for this year.  This year, we lost two big men, our most prolific scorer was out some for academic probation (GT is so tough academically that even the athletes get bad grades sometimes), and our best leader and defender discovered he had a congenital spinal defect and had to get surgery at the start of the season, missing the whole thing. 

The only downfall for next year is that Lauren has convinced me it's not worth buying season tickets.  What an awful time to come to that conclusion!

Randolph

In case you were wondering

In case you were wondering exactly what sweet lullaby Clarkson was singing to his granddaughter, The Citadel Ramble fight song goes like this:

The Citadel has a bulldog With short and grizzly hair. Carolina has a gamecock-- Now wouldn't they make a pair? And when they get together There's bound to be a scrap. Just watch that Citadel Bulldog Wipe that gamecock off the map!

CHORUS

Oh! they rambled, they rambled. They rambled all around. In and out of town, Oh! they rambled, they rambled. They rambled 'till the Bulldogs cut `em down.

Must have been hard for Clarkson when he then went to USC for law school.

Which conference will be the biggest loser?

Piers was nice to send the post about the big loser conferences. While the Big (L)east, the Big 10 or whatever, the Big 12, the PAC 10, and the ACC have all done well in the early rounds, I am willing to bet anyone who will accept a modest wager that each of these schools will lose significantly more games than the more modest SEC. It is my prediction that each of these conferences will lose twice as many games as the SEC. Without sounding too much like Thomas though we share the same genes, I will note that many of these schools have abysmal graduation rates. The fabled UConn Huskies only graduate 23% of their African American players and only do slightly better with the team as a whole, graduating 30%. When they go pro in something other than sports it may not be a pretty sight. Looking back at posts from last year, I noticed that Randolph took solace last year by noting that Georgia Tech had signed some hotshot prospect. I didn't see that helping this year, but that is beside the point. It gave him hope. This year with no teams in the tournament, I devoted my efforts in building a better future for America. I taught my grand daughter Ella The Citadel Ramble Song. She woke up in the middle of the night last night and I went to check on her. Everything was fine and she was going back to sleep and I was tiptoeing out of the room when she said, "Pops, would you sing the 'Ramble Song' before you go?" Of course I obliged her that small request. Seeing a new generation of McDows this weekend, gives me faith in the future. Now, if we can get a few W's for my bracket this coming weekend, I will have it made. If not, I still have the four best grandchildren in the history of the world. Clarkson

BigEastDream or BigEastReality?

From espn.com article:

How are conferences faring?

Conference	Teams	W-L	Sweet 16
Big East	7	11-2	5
Big Ten	7	6-5	2
ACC	7	5-5	2
Big 12	6	9-3	3
Pac-10	6	6-5	1
Atlantic 10	3	3-2	1
SEC	3	1-3	0
Horizon	2	1-2	0
Mountain West	2	0-2	0

Ugh

I'm tied with Leonhardt, losing to Maggie Lou (but she's a ringer) and my potential-points-remaining pool looks more like a motor-oil-filled puddle. My only solace is that my Pitt Panthers have managed to not choke yet. That and the fact that the view from 19th place probably looks pretty good if you're Dodie.

Hockey

Dave, if that post doesn't bring back fond memories of slapping the ol' puck across the frozen pond during South Carolina's bitter winter months, I don't know what will.

Yale Wins!

This will doubtless bring smack raining down, but on Friday night I watched one of the most exciting NCAA games I've ever seen. It just happened to be hockey. Trailing St. Lawrence 3-2 with 1:30 left in the game, Yale pulled its goalie and then scored twice in 30 seconds to win 4-3. Last night, the most common alma mater on this blog (right? or does Tech somehow have larger numbers?)  trounced Cornell 5-0 for its first-ever ECAC title. Yale was ranked 7th in the country going into the tourney and may now crack the top 5. Notre Dame is #1. The NCAA tourney starts next weekend.

Yes, I'm trying to distract people from my bracket entry...